For many the thought of meditation practice is intimidating. What is it supposed to feel like? Am I doing it right? Will I feel Nirvana and enlightenment (or some other sought of weirdness I am ill prepared for?) How long will it take to get good at this? What is "good at it" anyway?
Add to that the paradoxical replies you can get in answer to these these questions: just "feel what you feel", you are trying not to try, the purpose of meditation is no striving or purpose. Its surprising anyone has the courage to try it in the first place.
I know that these kind of quizzical things are said because I have said them myself (and I have seen the responses to them too). They are tremendously unhelpful. It feels like someone is telling you a story full of inside jokes that you don't understand and feel like you never will. I promise I will try to be better and try not to leave this kind of confusing crumb trail when I talk about it from now. I think sometimes its about asserting some sense of superiority and that is incredibly unhelpful. It should not be a secret code.
I think there's a risk of thinking all meditation has to be with aim if reaching enlightenment and decoding all this secret language is therefore necessary to reach that goal. It gives the impression of a hierarchy you must strive to make your way up. This is not how it ought to be. That's like saying if you're not aiming for the Olympic Gold in the 5000 metres why are you doing the Park run 5k?
Meditation is like a pool with a deep end, a shallow end and a gently sliding slope from one to the other. In the deep end there are those doing month long silent retreats who may truly change the way their mind sees the world. And there are others, in the shallow end like me, who work, have families and commitments that use meditation to perhaps see things a little differently or sometimes to feel some relaxation or calm.
That is fine. There is no obligation for it to be more and, as far as I am concerned, any sense that one is better than the other. Its ok to stay in the shallow end with no intention of moving down that slope to the deeper waters.
So I would say try it and get from it whatever you can and if it isn't for you that's ok too. But don't believe that it has to be an incremental practice that can only be effective if you intend to end your days in a Tibetan Monastery. There is no need for any such goal. Take whatever you need from meditation and the rest? Leave that where you find it.
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