I read an article about "controlling and coercive behaviour" and the damaging impact it has on those subject to it in last weeks newspaper. Some of the things that constitute this according to helpful checklists are being shouted at, swore at, the subject of mockery, humilation, confinement and verbal assualt. Things that might diminsh our sense of self worth when we are continually subjected to them.
These are awful crimes and difficult to prosecute due to the lack of physical evidence even though they leave a long scar on those who are victims-survivors of it.
Its also worth thinking about how often our internal monologue tells us we too are not good enough in a way that, if it was an external voice, we would consider to be extremely harmful. It seems that often we deal with ourselves in the same way an abuser might - we consider ourselves unworthy of care or love, we hold things back from ourselves until we consider we have earned it, we attack ourselves in the most sensitive and hurtful places. We call ourselves names and demand we do better. We tell ourselves that we have not done enough and force ourselves to strive for higher levels of perfection.
We are very capable of, and often do, damage our sense of self worth.
Today spend a minute listening to what your thoughts are telling you, how you are treating yourself and if it feels negative and hurtful let those thoughts pass and consider ways you might be able to speak to yourself a little more thoughtfully.
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