I wanted to talk a little about how I work this week.
I think for many, the prospect of therapy can feel a little uncomfortable or intimidating. Often it might be the simple practical things like how many sessions am I expected to book? What if I don't know what to say? Will I have to lie on a couch with the therapist sat behind me? (The answer to the last question is a definite no!) All this before just the thought of talking to someone you don't know well about what might be quite personal things.
Worrying about these kinds of things can get in the way of what is already a tricky process to engage with. Lets put them to rest.
First of all, I will provide therapy in a number of ways: face to face, video conferencing (zoom), telephone or text. It is whichever suits you best and you can change how you choose to do it at any time and as many times as you like.
I work from my home. I have a room in my house that I have prepared for therapy. It's a private space and we can talk from there. I will also come to your home if its not too far away if this is your preference.
A session lasts about 50 minutes. This is more a therapy tradition than for any particular reason - its thought it just allows 10 minutes at the end of a session for notes to be written. I will keep an eye on time but it can help if you do too just so you have a sense of opening up to something new as the time draws to a close. I don't mind if the session is a bit longer or a bit shorter - no absolute rules - though if I have someone to see after you then I will need to bring things to a conclusion.
Most important of all, there are no rules in terms of what we talk about. It does not have to be very deep and heavy all the time. There are times when lightness is important too. I like to get to know the people I work with and like you to get to know me. We don't have to have a pattern where we follow one week with what we talked about the last - if something else has come up or you don't want to talk about that topic again that's ok. I will follow your lead and help by giving some direction or focus to our conversations.
This is your time to be at peace with yourself and talk about what ever you want in a confidential relationship.
I suggest initially having in mind the idea of 4 sessions. We can do more of course and for that matter I will only charge session by session so if you find its not working for you, you aren't obliged to see four sessions out. I think having this plan in mind gives time for things to develop but doesn't lead to a feeling of being tied to something long term. During that fourth session will can talk about how things have been, what has been helpful and if you wish to do more sessions. There is no pressure from me for you to do more.
Therapy is something we do together. I won't claim to have all the answers - they are really within you - and I will not pressure you to talk about things you don't want to. t's just directed, supportive conversation.
As Bessel Van Der Kolk said "therapy is a chance "to be finally heard, understood and supported." In doing this you can discover parts of you hidden or process things that have been difficult but at your pace.
Take care
Ian
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